My life has changed a great deal. There was a time not long ago when family movie night meant watching a funny movie and laughing about it afterwards. Recently it seems that I see things differently. Tonight my wife and I watched a movie starring Kevin James. I love that guy and find him to be extremely funny. Here Comes The Boom. A movie with everything I like. A good message, a ton of fighting, and some great comedy.
I enjoyed it all the way up until it made me cry. You see I post on Facebook, and on this blog a lot about how great my family and friends are. In fact while I watched the movie another of my friends made a generous donation to “Running 4 J.” What I don’t often do is talk myself up. I talk about my issues, my depression, my pain, but I don’t often, without making it a joke, talk about my strength.
Towards the end of this movie there is a scene where the Fonz is talking to Kevin. Kevin has just had his ass handed to him for two rounds. With one round left he is in need of that all important piece of motivation. The Fonz points at his students in the audience (he is a school teacher fighting to save the music program) and says “look at them, whether you win or lose our job is done. Those kids are watching the ultimate show of resiliency in the face of an impossible objective, and they are inspired!”
That was it. That was the line that made me cry. For a moment I pictured myself as that fighter. I pictured all of you as those students. Is it realistic to think that I can change the cruise lines? Can the things I do and say, or the donations I collect save lives? I don’t know. What I do know is that everyone showed up. Everyone is watching me and cheering me on. They are donating money to ICV because I will not stop fighting. My entire family is in the ring with me. We are all beaten and bloody. We are all in a great deal of pain, but none of us are sitting down. We are all working hard to show the world that things must change. My family and friends deserve every bit of love, credit, and admiration that I give them. But for now, just this once I am going to be proud of myself. I am proud that I am sticking with it. Proud that I am working hard to get in shape and represent Jason. Most of all I am proud that I am standing in front of the world with my heart on my sleeve, and my fists clenched and ready for the remainder of the fight. I am doing things I never thought possible. I am sticking to it. Sometimes things get pushed aside. Most of the personal goals I set for myself like working on book 2 have been placed on hold while I work at this round.
Am I going to change the world? No, that is really doubtful. But I know Jason is proud of me. I know my friends are as well, and I know I will show the ultimate resilience in the face of an impossible objective. Tonight I will go to bed proud of myself. Tomorrow the next round begins. I hope that somehow I have inspired someone to follow a dream, or fight for righteousness. I hope that someday I can close my eyes and say “I did it J.”
Jason did it when he beat cancer. Now I need to do it by beating the cruise lines.